Bewildered
by gleechild
Summary: Oneshot. What happens in the week following Nate and Blair's first time and Chuck's disappearance? Rated T for a bit of adult content at the beginning.


It was the best night of his life. All this time Blair had been dreaming of the perfect night, the perfect time for them to make love—and it had all been perfect. The kisses, the touches, and the deep stares into each others eyes. He had never felt more right with her than he had last night. He had fantasized for years about finally having sex with her. They had dreamt of this day for years and now that it had finally come, he was anything but disappointed.

However, as he woke up the next morning with her curled into his side, his first thought wasn't about the perfection of the night before, and it wasn't even how much he loved her. His first thought wasn't even about her.

He thought about Carter Baizen. It had felt so good to hit that jerk. He kind of wished he could do it again. In fact, he probably would hit him the next time he saw him.

He looked at Blair, sleeping next to him. Even after last night she still managed to look so innocent.

But she wasn't.

She hadn't….been.

There had been something in the way she kissed, small changes. There had been something in the way she stripped for him, like it wasn't the first time she had done that routine. There had been something in the way she moved and gasped. She hadn't been embarrassed at all when he touched her thighs or slid his fingers inside of her. She had bucked against his fingers, arching her hips in a rhythm that he knew she hadn't learned last night.

That something was confirmed when he finally—_finally!_—pushed himself inside of her and felt no resistance. He sank further and further, painfully gentle, hoping to make it easier for her. There had been no need. Soon he had found himself pressed all the way inside of her and had never felt anything but heat and wetness. It wasn't something he wanted to think about then. He tucked it away to the back of his mind for later thought. He was too occupied with enjoying her moans. He was too occupied sliding in and out of her. He was too occupied groaning as she met each of his thrusts.

Then he thought of nothing as his world exploded around him and he fell against her, gasping for air, relieved that she was satisfied as well.

He fell asleep holding her close, feeling so content.

He couldn't be mad at her. He had given her up. He hadn't thought she'd find someone else, but more than likely that someone else had taken advantage of her. She had been vulnerable and hurt.

He hoped he never saw Carter again.

He felt her stirring beside him. He looked down and she smiled a mischievous smile at him.

"Good morning," she murmured.

"Morning," he grinned down at her.

She looked at him and blushed, "Last night was…" she trailed off.

"Amazing," he whispered to her. She grinned back at him before sliding up his chest to kiss him.

They were silent and cuddling after that, just content to bask in the new glow they had found for themselves.

But soon his thoughts turned to Carter again, he looked down at her.

She felt him move and glanced up and saw a serious look enter his eyes.

"Nate?"

"I wanted you to know…it's alright," he said.

"Hmm? What's alright?" she asked.

"I know last night wasn't…I know it wasn't your first," he explained, staring into her eyes.

"Oh…yeah, that…" she was searching for words to explain to him. She couldn't seem to look him in the eye.

"It's alright. I'm not mad. I never want to see Carter again, but I'm not mad at you," he said.

She looked like she was going to say something else, but decided against it.

Instead she snuggled deep into his side. "I love you Nate."

"I love you too Blair," he said as he traced slow circles with the pad of his thumb on her back. "I love you."

* * *

He tried all afternoon to get a hold of Chuck. He wanted to tell him the good news. All his life, well since they were like twelve, Chuck had regaled him with story after story of his bedroom exploits. He wasn't going to go into detail, of course, but he had to share the news. He was back with Blair and in love and having sex and completely and totally content.

He hung up again with a sigh. He knew Chuck's voicemail message by heart—not even a possibility before now. Chuck had always answered his phone calls, even in the middle of those exploits.

"What's wrong?" Blair asked.

"Oh, nothing, I just can't get a hold of Chuck," Nate explained.

"Hm," was all Blair said before going back to her sushi. They had finally left the suite (after a quick call to Serena to borrow some clothes for Blair and Nate just wore his slacks and white button down shirt from his suit). Their first meal as a new couple was over sushi at lunch. It didn't really matter to Nate what he ate, he just wanted to get done so they could go back to her place. Her mother was still out of town and he thought now would be the perfect opportunity to break in her bed.

"It's never taken this long for him to call me back," Nate shook his head. "Maybe I should call his dad."

Blair dropped her chopstick and reached across to hold his hand.

"Nate," she smiled, "we only just got back together. Can't you spend time thinking about me _while_ you're with me? Let's forget about Chuck, okay? He'll turn up, he always does—just like a bad penny."

Nate grasped her hand too, "Alright," he didn't want her to think he was neglecting her again. He really wanted to be with her—forever this time.

* * *

The rest of the week passed in a blur.

**It's official. N and B are back together. The world is right again. I hope you enjoy the scoop. You know you love me. xoxo Gossip Girl**

But Nate's world was still slightly off kilter. He hadn't heard from his best friend in days. He had already called Bad Bart but he wasn't much help. He just said that Chuck was fine. He went on Christmas vacation a little early. Bart really couldn't be bothered when it came to Chuck.

At least Nate knew Chuck wasn't in a ditch somewhere, but he still couldn't figure out why he wasn't answering his phone calls. Chuck had been his best friend since, like, kindergarten. The whole thing was freaking him out. Blair couldn't be bothered with Chuck either. Every time he tried to bring Chuck up in a conversation—because that was the topic most on his mind lately—she'd shut it down. He always thought that of everyone in the Upper East Side only two people truly cared about Chuck: him and Blair. Maybe she was upset with Chuck for telling him about Gossip Girl's tip regarding her and Carter.

He decided to broach the awful subject.

"So, Blair…" he started.

"Yes Nate?" she said. They were sitting on the couch in her apartment, snuggling and watching a movie.

"About this whole thing with Carter…does it have anything to do with why you don't want to hear anything about Chuck?" he tried to ask as gently as possible. He didn't want her to get upset with him; he just needed to understand.

She pulled away from him and sat up. "Do we really have to talk about…that person?" Blair couldn't say Chuck's name. She didn't even want to think about him. He didn't care about her at all. He said he was going to change his ways for her, but he still looked for ways to manipulate her—and Nate. She was happy to be back with Nate. He really was the love of her life, and everything was perfect now. She kept repeating that to herself at least twenty times a day.

"I know you probably don't want to talk about Carter, but I figured you might have known that Chuck was the one to show me the clip. You know I never go to that website. And I never would have that day, except I thought you were seeing someone and I needed to find out who it was—so I asked Chuck to find out," he explained in a rush. "Is that why you don't want to talk about Chuck? You knew he told me, or something? You guys are pretty close; he might have let it slip."

Blair looked at him opened mouth trying to find the words. He didn't know how right he was.

"Yes," she finally found the words. "It wasn't something I was…proud of. I didn't want the world to know, especially not you." And if she had her way, nobody would know the truth. She didn't know where Chuck was—and she didn't care, she really didn't.

"Don't blame Chuck, babe. He only did what best friends do. He helped me like he always does," Nate smiled at her and put his arm around her. She hesitantly leaned back into him.

"Chuck's just always been there for me, and it's weird to go a week without hearing from him. It's like we got in a fight…except we never fight for this long. The last time we had a disagreement…it lasted a night," he didn't want to go into anymore details about the stupid poker game Carter had dragged him into. "And this time, we didn't even argue. Everything was great. I just don't get it."

"Just don't worry about it. He'll come home soon. Maybe there's a reason he can't use his phone right now or something?" Blair really wanted to stop talking about Chuck.

"Let's focus on something a little more interesting," she said as she trailed her fingers up his chest. "I have something in my room that I just know you'd love to see." She crawled over him to get off the couch. Turning back, she took a hold of his arms. He was already smiling that sexy lust filled grin at her as he stood and followed her up the stairs, Chuck all but forgotten.

* * *

Two days later the inevitable happened. Nate ran into Carter.

Nate and Blair were invited to the annual Christmas party extravaganza held by Isabel's parents. They were excited to go, it was their first official outing as a couple again—the ball didn't count, they had gone as friends.

Blair saw Carter first; and immediately steered Nate in the opposite direction. There was a crush of people here tonight. There was no way Nate and Carter's paths would cross. She would make sure of it.

Her plan to keep an eye on Carter and move Nate along to the next group of people worked well for the better part of the evening.

**Does the term unavoidable mean anything to B? It was going to happen sometime. Why not tonight?**

Nate had just finished and went to wash his hands when none other than Carter Baizen himself came strolling into the restroom. Ironically, fortunately, or unfortunately—however you wanted to look at it—they were alone.

Nate immediately stopped wiping his hands dry and turned to glare at Carter. Carter looked at him and smiled. "Hey buddy, good to see you... wait a minute," Carter acts like he's thinking, "it's not." He finished with a smirk and a dry tone.

"Just stay away from me, and stay away from Blair and we can get through the rest of the evening," Nate was clenching his teeth and trying to keep from hauling off and hitting Carter again.

"Oh yeah, Blair," Carter laughed. "How is she by the way? I mean, if I was supposed to be dating her, I should at least ask about her, right?" Carter tilted his head and grinned.

Nate didn't want another scene, even if it was in the bathroom. "What the hell are you talking about?" Carter had one of those stupid looks on his face like he knew something Nate didn't know. "Just get lost."

"Fine, but tell your girlfriend that the next time she wants to make you jealous—choose somebody else. I'm trying to fix my reputation, not destroy it with rumors that I've compromised the fair Blair Waldorf," Carter snapped before stalking to a stall.

Now Nate was more confused than angry. "What are you talking about? I saw the clip, same as everyone else."

Carter turned back around, "You saw me entering and leaving her apartment. I left my friggin jacket at CeCe's tea the day before. I wasn't there for more than five minutes."

"So you're saying you were never with Blair," Nate looked perplexed.

"Give the boy a prize!" Carter laughed. "Don't get me wrong, if she had offered, I would have gladly accepted that invitation—but it was never extended." Carter shot Nate a hard look.

"Yeah, well why would she lie?" Nate was starting to think this was some kind of trick.

"Beats me, but in my opinion? There's something she doesn't want you to know," Carter winked. "Better watch that Nate." He continued into the stall now.

Nate stood staring after him. If Blair wasn't with Carter, then who was she with? Carter had to be lying.

He exited the bathroom and headed over to the area he last saw Blair. He stood observing her for a moment. He watched her laugh at something Kati was saying. She really was beautiful. He couldn't believe she would lie to him. Carter must've been just trying to cover his tracks. He shook it off and walked over to her. She greeted him with a kiss before they headed to the dance floor. They spent the rest of the evening dancing and having a good time.

But Nate couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.

* * *

Nate hated Gossip Girl with a passion. He hated people who didn't mind their own business. He also had no use for gossip in general. The damn site had caused trouble with him and Blair more than once. He tried never to go near it.

Not today. Today he was embarking into dangerous waters. He couldn't get Carter's comments out of his head. He needed to find out the truth.

He typed in the URL and waited for the site to load. He browsed down to the date of the ball and clicked the link. Sure enough there was another link to a special video footage entitled Blair's New Beau.

He watched and re-watched the clip several times but no matter how many times he played it nothing was going to erase the fact that Carter entered Blair's apartment without anything in his hands, and wearing no jacket, but managed to leave with a jacket thrown over his shoulder as he walked casually away.

Blair lost her virginity to someone other than Carter. Why would she lie? How did Gossip Girl get that footage and why was it skewed the wrong way like that? Maybe there was something else he missed?

He hit the back arrow and started scrolling down. He found a couple links about the ball, the link to the picture of him hugging Jenny, but nothing else mentioning Blair. He scrolled back up to check out dates after the ball.

_What's this?_ He saw a journal posting with Chuck's initials in the title. Maybe Gossip Girl knew where Chuck was. He hadn't thought about that before. He clicked the link and read.

**Spotted. Chuck Bass leaving the Palace with suitcases at three in the morning carrying a copy of the New York Times overnight press. Where is he going? No one knows, but I won't leave you hanging. xoxo Gossip Girl**

Nate looked at the date of the posting. It was the night of the ball. Why did Chuck leave that night? What happened?

Nate pressed the back arrow again and scrolled up a little further and found Chuck's name again.

**Gossip Girl here. Fellow gossipmongers, I must inform you that this girl hasn't found any dirt on Chuck Bass' sudden departure. The fount of information hasn't been this dry since a certain blonde princess deserted us. Has Chuck Bass pulled a Serena? We never did find out what sent her running—wonder if it was the same thing that sent young Chuck scurrying. Will we ever know? Only if you tell me. xoxo Gossip Girl**

Nate pushed his chair away from his desk with a loud squeak as the wood of the chair legs rubbed against the wood of the floor. _No f-ing way!_

He stood up and started pacing back and forth. Would she really do it? Would she really sleep with Chuck just to get back at him? He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it.

No, it wasn't possible. It had to be someone else and something else made Chuck leave. Why would Chuck leave because of that anyway? Chuck was all about sex—and he would never have left town over a girl. He was Chuck Bass, girls didn't get to him. No, there was some other explanation. He didn't know what, but he would find out.

* * *

He walked to Blair's. It was early in the evening. She would be expecting him soon anyway. He rode the elevator up and shifted from foot to foot, trying to figure out how to broach the subject.

He walked into the foyer and she came over to greet him with a smile and a kiss.

"I just need to go freshen up for dinner. You arrived a little early," she said.

He nodded. He didn't mind, he _was_ early. Plus, it would give him a chance to figure out what to say to her. She turned and practically floated up the stairs, smiling down at him as she went.

He sighed, walked over to the settee and flopped down. He put his head in his hands and tried to breathe and think. Rubbing his eyes, he looked at the coffee table in front of him and realized her cell phone was sitting there. Looking at the stairs and not seeing her at all, he took a chance to snoop. He picked up the phone and went to the bathroom down the hall. He didn't feel any qualms about spying on his girlfriend because she had lied to him. He still didn't believe that Chuck had been with her, but he knew she lied about Carter—at least that's what he thought.

Locking the door of the bathroom, he sat on the closed toilet seat and started browsing through her text messages. He found the date he was looking for—he was surprised the phone still stored them that far back—the day of his tux fitting. He scrolled through and nearly dropped the phone when he saw how many text messages were from Chuck. He tried to remember the time of his fitting. It had been at four o'clock. She was at least fifteen minutes late though. He looked for messages received around that time and found the first one.

**r u w him rt now?**

He scrolled and opened the next one.

**miss u already. smack him 4 making u leave early**

He scrolled to the next.

**what'd i tell u bout wanting it rough?**

He snapped the phone closed. He didn't need to read the messages sent. He had his answer. Chuck had been sleeping with Blair. Okay, so that explained who she was with—but why did he leave? And why won't he answer Nate's calls?

Nate looked at the phone in his hand; he wondered…would Chuck answer a call from Blair?

Scrolling down the list of numbers he quickly found Chuck's and pressed send. He held it up to his ear, holding his breath, waiting to see…

"Well, well finally come up for air enough to realize I was missing?" Chuck's voice was slurred; he was obviously drunk wherever he was at. Nate opened his mouth to tell him who it was but Chuck just kept on talking.

"How did Nate like the new moves? Did you tell him it was yours truly who taught you everything you know?" Nate clamped his mouth shut on that one.

"Nothing to say? Oh, I get it—don't worry B, I won't tell Nate about us," he cracked up laughing hysterically. "Oh, and thanks for doing the courtesy of breaking it off with me first. That was only slightly hampered by finding you playing tonsil hockey with him minutes later." He was speaking in his most sarcastic voice. "My hat goes off to the new master—you've sure got me beat." He snorted; his voice was slurring worse as he spoke.

"Keep the necklace B, consider it a consolation prize. Rest easy B; I don't know when I'll be back, not for a while. I've been keeping tabs still. That gossip bitch wonders if I'm pulling a Serena-na-na. She doesn't know how right she is." He laughs hysterically again before suddenly fading to quiet.

"Blair? Don't call me again," with that Chuck hung up.

Nate held the phone away from his ear, staring at it in shock.

Now he knew why Chuck wasn't answering his phone calls. He didn't know whether to be angry or sad. Chuck was the one person he was himself with—always. He needed him around and he missed him. Chuck must be mad at him for hooking up with Blair again. Nate thought back and remembered Chuck saying little things like "You don't miss her, man" before turning to walk away from him. He remembered how shifty Chuck became when Nate was telling him that he had to know if Blair was seeing someone.

"_You're still close to her right?"_

"_Uh, well yeah."_

"_Can you find out who she's seeing?  
"Me."_

"_Who better?"_

"_Who better indeed."_

If Chuck hadn't left, Nate would probably be hunting him down right now to hit him. But the fact that he _had_ left and wouldn't answer Nate's calls indicated something much worse.

Nate knew how Chuck was. He loved sex, booze, and money. He enjoyed them as much as he could to make up for the fact that his father disapproved of him. Even when Chuck was younger and tried everything to gain his father's approval, he couldn't get it. So eventually Chuck gave up and it made him who he had become. Nate didn't mind Chuck's behavior; in fact he appreciated it because he gave Nate advice and helped Nate loosen up when responsibilities with his parents and Blair got too crazy.

There was only one reason that Chuck would have left. He was in love with Blair, and that was huge. Chuck had never fallen in love. Chuck had never even gone on a real date. He only did hookups. If Chuck was in love with Blair, he would have left. He would have run as far away as possible—especially if he saw her with Nate.

Nate gripped the phone tightly in his hand. He didn't know. How could he have known? Nobody told him.

He was so pissed at Blair right now he couldn't see straight.

He stood up and unlocked the door and went back down the hall. She was standing there adjusting a flower in a vase waiting for him.

"Took you long enough," she said as she turned back to him. She noticed what he was carrying. She looked up at him, arching her eyebrows in question.

"When did you get so good at lying?" he asked, tossing her phone to her. She managed to grab it before it fell. "Chuck hasn't been answering my calls. Apparently, he answers yours."

Blair gasped, "You called him? What did you say?"

"Nothing, he said it all. It was him you were with," he glared at her. The look on her face becomes one of horror.

"Nate…" she starts to explain.

"Blair, really, don't. I know why he's not answering my calls. He saw you with me. He saw us go into that hotel room. He's so jealous he's getting drunk and wants nothing to do with either of us. And I didn't even know. I can't even be mad at him Blair. He wouldn't have left if he didn't love you," he sighed. "But I am mad at you."

"Me?" she asked, starting to get angry herself.

"Couldn't you tell? Couldn't you see he was falling for you? How could you stomp on him like that?" he's so frustrated with her. "Do you have any feelings at all for him?"

Blair tried to speak, but everything just came out stuttering, "I…I…"

"Damnit, Blair, tell the truth—for once!" Nate really did love her, but he loved Chuck as his friend more. If Blair really cared about Chuck, he'd let her go.

"He just makes me so mad! He's always trying to ruin things! We were going to give it a go, but only in secret at first. And he kept proving that he couldn't be trusted to behave!"

"Oh screw the behavior thing Blair! Society is not the most important thing in this world! How you feel is the most important! If you weren't Blair Waldorf, if you had no money, nothing holding you back, would you want to be with Chuck Bass?"

Tears were streaming down her face. "Yes," she whispered.

"Then why, for the love of God, did you sleep with _me_?" Nate exclaimed.

"Because you were the fairy tale, the one I always wanted to be with. My world revolved around you for so long—I couldn't throw all those years away. You wanted me back and I had to forgive you. It's what I do."

"I'm no Prince Charming, Blair," he said with sigh. He started walking towards the elevator doors.

"Nate, where are you going?" She was trying to wipe away the tears, but they kept coming.

"I need to find Chuck," he said calmly. "I need to make this right. I'll beat the info out of Bart if I have to."

"Tell him…just…tell Chuck the truth," Blair was still trying to regain her composure.

"Don't worry; I said I'd make this right. And I will."

_The End._


End file.
